August 2023, Part 2

Last time I talked about some exciting news and I don't have any more of that yet, so this will be a bit introspective.

where next?

I think I hit some pretty serious writing burnout during the last few years. It's embarrassing to say, since I am far from the hardest working writer I know. But brains gotta brain, and this is the one I have.

I find myself out of contract for novel-length works, and trying to figure out what to write next. I had a bunch of ideas earlier this year--a middle grade graphic novel, an adult fantasy, a futuristic middle grade adventure--but I waited too long to work on them and the doubt monsters found a way in. They whisper, "Is that really a good enough idea?" "Is that the smartest move for your career?" "Do you even have anything to say anymore?" and "You're just going to overcomplicate this like you overcomplicated all those other books you wrote but that didn't sell."

The key for me is to get an idea and charge in before the doubt monsters can grab me. Once they get hold, it's very hard for me to rescue an idea that they've torn to shreds.

So here I am, writing bits of this and that in my creativity journal and hoping the doubt monsters will get bored and find other prey. All I can do is the work, the "chop wood, carry water" of writing, and hope for the best.

Not gonna lie, that sounds a lot more positive than I feel about it right now. However...

life is really, really good

I'm not writing, so I'm "filling the well" in other ways. I got into a beginning ceramics class at the community art center; not the fun wheel stuff, just me and the clay and my fingers. It turns out that I love it. I love mushing clay and being covered in clay and idly talking with other people in the studio who are busy loving clay too. It's a rare hobby that can block out reality, but pottery has landed in that rarefied club with martial arts and video games. I hope I can get into more classes. Here is the chonky horse I made today. It's headed to the kiln for its first firing.

Just as with drawing, when I let my graphic design brain take too much control, the results are stiffer and less organic. I love graphic design, but it's a totally different art! I am more satisfied with the finished sculpture when I start mushing the clay without a plan and let the form emerge.

If only I could learn to do that with writing!

writing news speed round, same as last time (but maybe you didn't have time to click on anything last time and you do this time, so here it is again)

• A Game of Fox & Squirrels is out in paperback and is on several (!!) state reading lists this year.
• Every Bird a Prince came out in May 2022 and got an asterisk for "outstanding merit" in the Bank Street 2023 best books list.
• I was interviewed for an episode of The Acknowledgements, hosted by Nutan Rubinson. We talk about A Game of Fox & Squirrels. Listen to the podcast
• My flash story "It Begins with RAVEN" is up on Flash Fiction Online. Read it
• My flash story "First Dates and Other Action Items" is up on Daily Science Fiction. Read it

heading into 53

At the end of the month, I turn 53. I turned 50 during the first year of the pandemic and sometimes I find myself laughing in surprise that I'm already careening towards my mid-fifties. Despite the uptick in daily pills I have to take, I have enjoyed getting older. I like knowing myself better, even if it means knowing that I can't have caffeine anymore or that one drink on the weekend really is my max. I actually scheduled a physical therapy session for the morning of my birthday as a self-care gift to myself. It's going to suck! But also, it's going to feel great.

next time...

I will hopefully have pics of my new bike to share. To tide you over, below is a pic of me with a friend I made while bike shopping.

Jenn